Nature

When we moved back to Texas, we were blessed with renting a small cottage. It is a beautiful little house. It is really, too small for what we want, but it is a gorgeous little home for now. It has a small fireplace, which we have yet to get wood for, but it gives me hope each time I see it. I plan to buy logs for Yule and have popcorn in front of it with my husband.

It is little things like this that seem to have eluded me for years. Maybe it was returning home and rightfully claiming I am a Witch, or maybe it is having little money, and no TV. But I am noticing Nature more and more.

Being a Natural Witch, to me, means forging your own Path. It also means appreciating the Nature around you.

When we lived here last time, I considered this place void of Nature, and felt that I was being crushed in Spirit.

This time, I am finding many beautiful Nature sights and sounds around me. Perhaps I have opened up to it, or perhaps it is returning in force, even to this barren land.

Yesterday I saw a squirrel perched on my neighbour's house. He looked like a weather vane, pointing towards the North. He calmly ate his nut while I laughed and called out to him how adorable he was.

Last week, I noticed some trees were bright orange-red with fall leaves. They stood in a pond created by the latest rains. It was Nature at the height of Autumn beauty.

I plan to go down to the lake at some point and view the turning of the wheel there. I know it must be beautiful, too.

Because my job is at night, I get to see the sunrise most mornings. It has been a giant red Autumn jewel most times. And I often pause to look at it. It is little wonder that our ancestors worshiped the sun and moon. They are a wonder unto themselves.

I know I am not being as eloquent in this post as I would like, but I have been quite sick, and am still getting over the bronchitis and subsequent cold.

For Halloween, I am a witch.

A friend of mine is helping to raise her sister's children. The girl is 8-years-old. A few days ago she asked me if I wanted to know what she was going to be for Halloween. Of course I did. She is going as a witch. To which there was much 'awesome's and high-fiving. Then she asked what I was going to be. I told her I would be a witch as well.

The friend that is raising her is a declared Pagan. However, she is still, for the most part, in the proverbial broom closet. So I did not tell this child that I wouldn't be wearing black, have a hat or carry a broom.

I did however ask her if she thought I'd make a good witch. She thought for a moment and then replied. "You laugh like a witch." More cackles and another high-five.

This conversation, and one with my close friend who is learning more about the magickal world, have gotten me thinking about what it means to be a witch.

After my wedding, I have gone through turbulent times. Not the worst, but still devastating to me. I have seen close friends going through troubles that currently outweigh mine. But I am still fearful for my own situation.

With the economy as it is, many of my co-graduates are having trouble finding work. We are skilled and talented, and have degrees in expendable fields. So those of us with the desire for paying our bills are looking to less desirable, less skilled work. (Retail. *shudder*)

Through these recent experiences, I have suffered with depression, isolation - both self-created and circumstantial - and I have learned much. It has taken a long time to process this. But I believe I have learned this:

Though we suffer through sadness, and stumble through life, there is always more joy than sadness. Happiness is an illusion. It is only joy that we desire. And joy is not always as apparent as happiness.

Happiness is the adrenaline feeling of love, pleasantness, laughter, smiles. This is good. But joy, joy radiates into our very souls. Joy is the sight of nature which, even in pictures, can rejuvenate the soul. Joy is the sound of water, which in it's very presence, emits electrons which help our bodies to heal. Joy is the knowledge that we are blessed, even though we are sad.

So, though we are all depressed right now, though we are not happy, though afraid and anxious, strive to hold joy in your heart. And keep in the forefront of your mind, the irrefutable knowledge that the Universe is working for you, that intent is all you need, and that God and the Goddess are hearing your cry, and see your tears. And know that this is not the end of your story. This is the part before you find your happy ending, which is never the good part anyway.

A New Life

Some people know what happened at the wedding, and some even know what happened after. Like I said before, I plan to turn this into my everyday blog. So here's the first real blog entry.

There's not much to say that I want broadcasted all over the Internet. In short, my husband and I are moving back to Texas, and will be living with his mother, sister and her husband and possibly his brother.

Mostly it is a new start. We will be looking for new jobs when we get there. We're hoping to find some quickly, as we need to pay our bills. But all-in-all, it seems like the best plan. We hope to pay off the wedding in three years or less. Once we are out of debt, we can try to save up for a home of our own or just move out into an apartment.

We don't know what the future will hold. And that scares me a lot. Being a witch, I like to try to see the future. But it's pretty obscured right now. I'm filled with fear and anxiety, and there's too many possible outcomes. But we're hoping we are making the right choice.

If anyone is still reading this, please pray for us and send your hope and love our way. We promise to send it back threefold. But then again, I suppose we are already getting that ourselves.

In hard times it has always been tradition to cling to one's faith. So here's a thought I am trying to keep with me at all times. "God loves me, and if he takes care of the little birds of the field, there's enough in this world to take care of me, too." God provides, and we need to be open to recieve. So I am trying to keep fear at bay. It's a hard lesson. And I'm not too good at it, but at least I am trying. And that's the point, isn't it?

Things to Talk About

Mostly this blog was started to try to tell my family a little bit about my faith. I have tried to talk about aspects which I think they will be concerned with, such as do I worship Satan (No, I don't.) and will the wedding be nude (No, it won't.).

I have covered as much as I can think of. If anyone has any questions, please let me know.

If I think of any more about the faith, or if someone asks me something, I will add it here.

For now though, I am simply spiritual. I call myself Pagan because it seems to fit best. My wedding will be Pagan because it feels right to me. I am not evil, nor do I condone it.

Blessed be to all those who come here out of love. I hope I have answered your questions.

Once the wedding is sorted I shall probably be turning this into my personal blog. I enjoy mulling about things in a public forum, even if I am talking to myself. Sometimes I am the best listener. Other times I ignore myself. And that makes me sad. *pout*

*giggle*

I love you guys. Thanks for coming here.

Our Vows

We have decided to rewrite the entire wedding ceremony to fit our needs. David and I have specific beliefs about marriage, and we do not want to pledge before the God and Goddess things which we have no intention of doing.

Therefore, we have written our own vows, which are brief, but to the point. We hope to uphold these vows in our lives together.

We also state, 'For as long as love shall last between [us].' This is because forever is a long time(as is 'until death'). And the Universe can see 'forever' as meaning multiple lives. I do not want to bind myself to someone through life after life, no matter how much I love them, because you need separate lives in order to grow. Sometimes what you need to learn and what the other needs to learn are not the same, and it is unfair to force them to be stuck with you as you learn your lesson, holding them back from theirs.

We also have a little surprise for those who want to make a fuss about the 'If anyone has reason these two should not be bound together' section. Hopefully no one would be so cruel as to make a fuss, but there are some people out there (we shall not name names) who might be bitter enough to say something at the ceremony instead of beforehand, in private, when they should.

The Charge of the God and the Goddess

In my wedding I have chosen to have 'The Charge of the God' and 'The Charge of the Goddess' read by a man and women. The prose poems, written by Mark Ventimiglia, invoke the God and Goddess. By invoke, I simply mean that they let those present know that the God and Goddess are also present.

I have chosen to have a man read the Charge of the God, because hearing it in a male voice lends to the aspect of God saying these words. I have a female read the Charge of the Goddess for the same reason.

These prose poems are written in first person as if the God and Goddess are actually saying them. This helps to remind us that they God and Goddess are actually present. It can be a very inspiring or reverent event.

As a word of caution, the Charge of the God can be viewed as negative. He talks of death, stating that God is constant and death is also. The reason for this is that in Wicca, (Mr. Ventimiglia is Wiccan, I am not.) the God dies annually, representing the cycle of life. He is reborn in the spring, dying in winter each year. (For Christians, it is good to remember that Jesus is also represented as dying annually, being born at Christmas and dying at Easter.) The Charge of the God is not meant to be negative, although it sounds such, it is meant to be a reminder of life ever changing. While life is brief, it is because of this brevity that we cherish it.

Casting a Circle

A Circle is, in many religions, Paganism included, considered holy. It has no begining and no end. It is eternal and whole. It's round shape reminds us of the womb, containing life. It is within a Circle that many Pagan ceremonies take place.

At the time of the full and new moons, many Pagans hold Circle. They cast the Circle by walking around a small area in a circle and talk to the four Directions, calling on the Elements represented there. They welcome these entities, (only the good ones) and cast out any negativity contained within the area of the Circle. The Elementals and Spirits which answer this call protect the area, holding evil at bay and provide blessings to those within the Circle.

What Pagans do in Circle is varied. Some cast fortunes or divine the future. Some work spells to enhance their desires or make them known the the Universe. It is mostly agreed upon that whenever a Circle is cast, power is raised. This is done because those in the Circle lend their energy to whatever cause they are trying to accomplish.

It is this tradition which will open my wedding ceremony. All those present are to be within the Circle before it is cast. When the first person representing the Element of Earth begins the ceremony, it is custom to not leave the area until she has walked the Circle for the second time, and dismisses the Guardians of the Circle. However, in my tradition, we do not hold fast to the 'You must never leave the Circle' rule. If you need to leave the Circle, I believe the Guardians would respect it, and allow you to pass. They know you are not harming anything by leaving. You would only be withdrawing your own energy from the area.

This section of the Ceremony is usually where newcomers are the most concerned. It is the beginning, and different from what they are used to, so they can become afraid that they are being trapped or that harm will come to them physically, psychicly or emotionally. Their fears are in error, as this is a protective aspect, and no harm can come of it.

A note should be made that all magic, Casting included, is based upon belief. If you do not believe, then it does not work. It doesn't mean it won't affect you, but your belief that bad things cannot happen to you is far more powerful than someone else's belief that they can. It can be said that whatever you believe is true.

My Priest

The man who will be performing as High Priest at my handfasting will be a friend of mine. He is not a registered holy man by any means, but he is fairly capable of giving a good speech.



He's intelligent and articulate and has a Bachelor's of Arts like me. As High Priest he will be using these skills to conduct the cermony. He will be reading the majority of it, including the 'Charge of the God'. In short, this means that he will be a representative of God, and the ceremony will be joining my fiance and I in the eyes of the Gods, as well as intrudicing us to and asking the blessings fom the Elements.



As some of you have already figured out, this means that the Pagan ceremony will not be a legal marriage ceremony. However, we are going to be married by the Registrar General as well.

Jumping the Broom

Jumping the broom is an ancient African-American custom. In the days of slavery, slaves were not often married, and less often able to marry those they loved. Therefore, the custom of jumping the broom developed in order to let the community know those who were making a commitment were "married".



Today, the act of jumping the broom is sometimes used in Pagan weddings to symbolize crossing the threshold into a new life with your partner.



The broom itself is rich with history and lore. It represents the hearth, which traditionally represents the family. The symbolic act of jumping the broom means more than letting those know that the couple has made a commitment, it also symbolizes that they will work together, as well as individually for the collective goals of their newly created family, as well as the family they already are a part of.

The Elements

The Elements are the four earthly Elements of life. They are Earth, Air, Fire and Water. A note must be made the Spirit comprises the fifth Element, completing the composition of the world. Each of the Elements corresponds to different directions and spiritual beings. To make it easy, I will divide them into sections here:



EARTH - All the creatures of the world, both seen and unseen, particularly ones which are associated with the ground, represent Earth. Things that represent Earth can be mammals, insects and dirt itself. The direction associated with Earth is North. Colors corresponding with it are those found in nature, particularly greens and browns.



AIR - All the creatures of the sky, both seen and unseen, particularly those with wings, represent Air. Things that represent Air can be bats, birds, butterflies, wind, incense and feathers. The direction associated with Air is East. Colors corresponding to Air are white and yellow, although light blues and greys have been used also.



FIRE - Creatures of Fire tend to be of myths. The phoenix, salamanders, and dragons all have represented Fire. Candles and fires themselves are often used as representatives of all aspects, destructive and resurrecting, of Fire. The direction associated with Fire is South. Colors of Fire include reds, yellows and oranges.



WATER - All the creatures that live in the water can represent this Element. Dolphins, fish, and other aquatic life, as well as mermaids and undines. The direction associated with Water is West. Colors of Water include blues of all shades and sometimes greens.



SPIRIT - As Spirit is always present, it is not often represented. Colors associated with it however, are rainbows and whites.

Family Perspectives & The Wedding

As I prepare for my wedding I am becoming increasingly aware of my family and the family I will marry into.

I do not want to scare them or worry them about what I believe in. I am afraid they will read this blog and cover their mouths and think 'She is lost. We must bring her back to the one true faith!'

I know they mean well. And they believe what they believe. I hope that they will understand and accept that it is not exactly what I believe.

I do not discount the faith of my family. I know that we have many denominations of Christian in our family tree. I also know that we have been witches (as I believe witches to be) for a very long time. Women who use herb healing; who divine the weather from the evening sky; those who have lived lives without many luxuries and have adapted to fit a natural path.

Because I do not feel in harmony with the Christian faiths as they are practiced does not mean I am no longer a christian. I simply do not worship as one. I believe in Jesus, and the myths I choose to follow revolve around the Judeo-Christian God. The difference is, I do not find comfort in believing simply what I am told. I ask God, and listen to Him. And I feel there is more to spirituality than just the obligatory dogmas.

I do not want to offend anyone with my faith, especially now that we know my fiance's mother and sister may come, but I feel that I must be married by what I feel is true.

To me this means honoring both the gods and goddesses of old, for they deserve respect, too; as well as the elementals who can offer their blessings. After all, wouldn't every bride like the entire world to give their blessing and rejoice with her?

To me, God is much more than what one faith believes him to be. I truly feel that God is part of every faith that proclaims love and peace. To me it does not matter how you worship him, or even if you worship the female aspect of god, the goddess if you will. I believe what matters most in this world is that you talk to God, that he knows you and you understand that he loves you.

There is so much in this world that we in the Western part of it do not discuss. We barely talk about everyday mundane aspects of life, like sex, let alone the beings of the spirit realms or contact with them. I find it strange, and a little sad. But I understand that it is the way things are.

For now.

But as for my family, and my future family. . . If you are reading this I want to thank you for caring enough to try to understand me. Even if you think I'm a nutball, I appreciate that you are respectful enough to want to understand my faith, and I am overwhelmingly grateful to all of you who support me in my beliefs, even if they differ from your own.

And then. . . I'm sure there are those who are coming to my wedding to see the freak show. Let me say this.

*Pwthhhhh*

I'm not the one going somewhere to gawk at people. Who's the freak then?

The Strawberry Moon

The Strawberry Moon is a Native American name for the full moon that falls in June. I picked this name to describe the website/blog, as well as my magical community name of Strawberry Moon Witch because it describes the moon the month I will be married.

This blog was started in order to provide a place where family could read a little information about the path I have chosen. However, this name covers more than that. It is a pretty name. I helps identify what kind of witch I am.

I am the type of witch that uses herbs to heal. I use spells to protect those I love. I use healing energy. I believe in God and I talk to Him. I believe in the Goddess, and while she is less talkative to me, I have met Her.

The June Moon is in a month that is warm but not too hot. It is the first moon of summer. It is a time when the crops are bearing fruit and bounty is coming into maturity. I have chosen this because that is how I feel I am on the Path. I know some, but am just coming into bloom.

Magical Responsibility

I believe in magic.

I know that we are able to influence the world. We make things happen.

I was raised Christian. In Christianity I was taught that God created us in His image. I believe this is true.

God is a Creator. And so are we. We create works of art. We build bridges. We create lots of things; physical, mental, emotional things.

In Wicca, and most neo-Pagan religions, there is a belief that we can influence reality. We can, literally, create a new reality. This is usually interpreted as working magic. It is also referred to as spells.

I do magic. I do spellwork. However, I don't do many formal spells. They require a lot of energy. I have done some, and they were worth the energy, but for the most part it does not seem like we must alter reality every time we want something.

I believe that in the metaphysical community we have a tendency to overuse magic. I think of magic like sex. Sex enhances a relationship. It should not BE the relationship. Likewise, magic should enhance our religious experience. We should not be doing magic every five minutes because we can.

We have a great responsibility because we do have the power to change things. It is my hope that those who understand that they have the ability, will use it with restraint and integrity.

Faith

I believe faith is more than attending a church. It is more than blindly believing something told to you, or written in a book.

Faith, to me, is a personal interaction with God. You talk to God, God talks to you. It is as simple as that.

I believe this belief came from my Christian upbringing. In my bible, it said Abba was what little Hebrew children called their fathers, much like the English DaDa. I started calling God by this when I was a pre-teen. God has always answered me.

I also believe it is the Christians who say that God sent his son to die on the cross so that we could have interaction with Him. Without Jesus's sacrifice we would not be able to talk directly to God. I believe that is true, for some. But more importantly, I believe talking to God is the most important aspect of Faith.

To me, Faith is simply knowing that I am talking to someone. I am heard, and loved, and they respond. Faith is what the Agnostic and Atheists do not understand. It is not something you can be taught. You must experience and define it for yourself. Much like all of religion, it is personal.

Being Open

I have tried to tell my mother that in order to talk to her dead lover she must be open. When she asked how I could not tell her.

Being open is simply a state of being. You must recognize signs from God for what they are. You must be willing to see them. You can, of course, put bounderies on this. For example, I do not want to see the dead. I never have. I do hear them, and see shadows in my mind's eye. They also only come during the day.

Meditation and relaxation are good ways to practice being open. However, the best way is to simply state that you will and to keep an open mind. This has led me, and many I know, to being open a good portion of the time.

I strive for a peace in my soul. Being open is one way to acheive that peace. It is something I hope for my mother. I know she needs that peace within her life. But it is not something I can give her. She must find it on her own as each of us do. Our Paths are our own.

Handfasting

Handfasting is dually, wedding for a year and a day or a legal "lifetime" commitment. It can be the same type of marriage as a Christian one, or it can encompass many more variations.

My handfasting to David is much like a Christian wedding. However, it incorporates many elemental aspects and a large amount of symbolism. Also, we are marring 'for as long as love shall last' instead of 'forever'.

Neither of us feel that a lifetime commitment is expected. We are both hoping that the love between us will last forever, but we know people grow, and change, and could need to part. This I learned from my divorce. Therefore, when taking such a serious commitment in mind, I do not want to bind myself to someone forever, eternally or any other form of extended unspecified enduring commitment.

We will be signing legal documents, making our handfasting a legal wedding in both Bermuda and the United States.

For more information about how the wedding will be I will post a Wedding post at a later date.

The Devil

I am not Wiccan.

Wiccans believe there is no Devil.

I however, know there is something evil in the world. There is a great force of evil, but it does not force us to do things. There is no one thing in control of evil. It simply exists.

Bad things happen because this is a universe based on equilibrium. One cannot have good without evil or it would not be good, it would be what is.

We have free will and we can choose how to be. This affects all around us. I believe what we do wrong comes back to us. I think it comes back greater than what we do wrong.

When bad things happen to good people (or as my friend Harvey once misspoke 'When good things happen to bad people') it is not necessarily their fault. Sometimes bad karma amounts from other areas in your life, sometimes it is a lesson to be learned, sometimes it is something someone else did that affects you. . . There are many reasons. But it is important not to dwell on the why, it is what you will do about it.

In short, evil is present, and our choices as a collective are to blame. The whole universe, being interconnected, has chosen things that cause others pain. The dark acts of the world add up. But there is ever hope and love and compassion. Through the good we erase the evil. Good takes away its power. Evil has never triumphed when good exists.

Reincarnation and the Otherworld

One of the most different (from Christianity) beliefs I hold is the concept of reincarnation.

I believe that people and animals live their life on this plane (the physical realm) and then, in spirit, return to the Otherworld (the spirit realm).

Once in the Otherworld, I believe we go through a period of rest and contemplation. We review our last life in detail, focusing on what we learned and what we did not, where we made mistakes and where there were improvements.

After this period, we decide when we will re-enter the physical realm. I believe we have a choice on where and when and to what kind of life we will be born. I also believe we are able to wait for others in this realm.

While in the Otherworld I believe we are able to contact those in Thisworld. I also believe we can contact those in the Otherworld. However, those in the Otherworld are busy, so it is important not to contact them unless crucial. They contact us when they need to.

They have their own rules in the Otherworld. But the most important rule of either world is to remember they are separate, but the same. It is all interconnected. What is done here is done there, and vice-versa.

I believe the rule for reincarnation is that you evolve upwards or you simply repeat. I do not think you can be devolved into a lower life form. Once you have learned your lesson, you do not easily forget it. Therefore, you do not become a bug once you've been human. Unless the lesson of being a bug is greater than the lessons you learn from being a human. But I doubt that.

And yes, to clarify, I do believe there is God in the Otherworld. I believe S/He is the one in control of these lessons. I believe there are Angels and other Spirits there, too. They have jobs in the spirit realm, though I do not know what they are.

And this is what I believe happens when we die.

My Beliefs

I am a Pagan.

The word Pagan is defined by the Webster dictionary as one who follows a polytheistic religion. This means that they believe in more than one form of god.

I believe in one Divine Being. I believe this is what the Native Americans called the Great Spirit. I feel this Being is not male or female, and yet is both.

To define my religion is difficult.

I believe in peace and living in harmony. There should be a give and take. I try to live this way.

I believe that karma exists. What you put out comes back to you. I believe this happens in disproportion. What comes back is greater than what is put out. This can be good and bad.

I believe that animals have souls. I know they do.

I believe we can see the unseen if we try. I believe more of us can do this than ever before.

I believe in reicarnation. I believe in past lives.

Over the next few months I will try to explain some of these beliefs here. They are my own beliefs. Some are inspired by others. Some are what others believe. But they are what I hold as true for me. They are what I feel is right.