For Halloween, I am a witch.

A friend of mine is helping to raise her sister's children. The girl is 8-years-old. A few days ago she asked me if I wanted to know what she was going to be for Halloween. Of course I did. She is going as a witch. To which there was much 'awesome's and high-fiving. Then she asked what I was going to be. I told her I would be a witch as well.

The friend that is raising her is a declared Pagan. However, she is still, for the most part, in the proverbial broom closet. So I did not tell this child that I wouldn't be wearing black, have a hat or carry a broom.

I did however ask her if she thought I'd make a good witch. She thought for a moment and then replied. "You laugh like a witch." More cackles and another high-five.

This conversation, and one with my close friend who is learning more about the magickal world, have gotten me thinking about what it means to be a witch.

After my wedding, I have gone through turbulent times. Not the worst, but still devastating to me. I have seen close friends going through troubles that currently outweigh mine. But I am still fearful for my own situation.

With the economy as it is, many of my co-graduates are having trouble finding work. We are skilled and talented, and have degrees in expendable fields. So those of us with the desire for paying our bills are looking to less desirable, less skilled work. (Retail. *shudder*)

Through these recent experiences, I have suffered with depression, isolation - both self-created and circumstantial - and I have learned much. It has taken a long time to process this. But I believe I have learned this:

Though we suffer through sadness, and stumble through life, there is always more joy than sadness. Happiness is an illusion. It is only joy that we desire. And joy is not always as apparent as happiness.

Happiness is the adrenaline feeling of love, pleasantness, laughter, smiles. This is good. But joy, joy radiates into our very souls. Joy is the sight of nature which, even in pictures, can rejuvenate the soul. Joy is the sound of water, which in it's very presence, emits electrons which help our bodies to heal. Joy is the knowledge that we are blessed, even though we are sad.

So, though we are all depressed right now, though we are not happy, though afraid and anxious, strive to hold joy in your heart. And keep in the forefront of your mind, the irrefutable knowledge that the Universe is working for you, that intent is all you need, and that God and the Goddess are hearing your cry, and see your tears. And know that this is not the end of your story. This is the part before you find your happy ending, which is never the good part anyway.